Try a little variation on a nifty little thing called cognitive reappraisal.
Science bases what I'm about to describe on three things: one, our brain has a tendency to make sure visualization is prioritized above and overrides our reason, and second, a brain is almost completely incapable of separating vivid fantasy from reality. Third, writing something down has a more lasting neutralizing effect on your emotions than just thinking it.
That kept in mind, let's move on.
You say you hold grudges, right? Well, the following technique has been observed to relieve year-long held grudges more effectively than years of therapy.
That's right, I'm offering you an easier, quicker, more believable and more effective treatment than any of what is stated in the above post. Read right on to find out what it is.
Follow these quick and easy steps to get your very own peace of mind:
- Think of a person that has wronged you.
- Write them a letter, preferably handwritten, in which you detail exactly what you wish you could say to them and sign it, leaving absolutely nothing filtered or censored. Remember, this is your fantasy.
- Write back a letter to yourself, in their name, in which they tell you precisely what you want to hear. Be it an apology, an explanation, appreciation -- everything you feel you'd need in reality to stop feeling resentment towards them. After you've finished this letter, sign it as well, again in their name.
- Read back this second letter every night before you go to bed over the course of a week. By the end of the week, you'll notice that, even upon meeting them in person, your level of resentment is reduced to next to nothing. You will be able to treat them as if they've righted their wrong, because even though perhaps you don't cognitively believe it, you do feel that emotional satisfaction and relief.
Now then, did you know that many placebos work even when the patient knows he's being deceived? This is one of those placebos. Hilariously, I can explain in full detail that you're tricking your mind, and it'll work all the better because of it.
Relevant studies I can share upon request. (Or, you could read The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane.) And don't mind me using infomercial-type communication; I'm just having a jolly good time.
